I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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