If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
