I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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