he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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