Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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