I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
