Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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