drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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