I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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