Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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