If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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