It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
