Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
