To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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