Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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