The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
