Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
