My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
