Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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