I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
