it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
