Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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