In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I will be naked everywhere
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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