but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
