but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
