Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
