Heybabeimwearingurpanties
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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