Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
