is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
