the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
