She said her name was "party"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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