He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
