I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
