Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
