kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
