My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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