I just made out with a guy for $7.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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