pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
