he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
