ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
