Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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