I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
