That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
