well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
