My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
