dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
