I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
