He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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