Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
