Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're a waste of cheezeits
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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