Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
