Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
